Reminiscent
by the introspective one
Summary: I, Miley, look back at the past in 'The Hannah Book'. I remember it all and wish I could change some of it but the past is the past and the present is the present, I just want to be me again, just me, not anyone else
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is just a random one shot I thought up; I may make it a two shot if I get a good response. Remember to review at the bottom.

I picked up that big scrapbook, the one I used to put all the articles about Hannah Montana in. the layer of dust told me it had been far too long since I had opened "the Hannah Book", yes I evened labeled the book like I had labeled the closet. I sat just holding the book remembering being on stage, thousands of fans screaming my name, some paying 200 dollars for backstage tickets, some driving over three hours just to see me, Hannah Montana. That rush I got after performing was addicting, it seemed like I couldn't get enough, no matter how many people I'd perform for, and it never mattered who I'd perform for either, I mean I performed for the Queen for goodness sakes and still that wasn't enough, for me even.

I remembered when Daddy, Jackson and I all moved to California from Tennessee. I think it was in fifth grade, no one knew who Hannah Montana was, I was still free to do as I pleased, and that first day going to a new school scared the bejeebers out of me. I sat on the stairs of the Malibu beach house, and would not budge not matter what Daddy promised me, I just wanted to go home. I was bawling, missing my old friends. "Come on bud" he said, like he always had when he wanted to comfort me. "School ain't that scary" he said taking me hand in his, as soon as we were holding hands I wasn't scared anymore all of it rushed out of me.

Blowing softly on the cover of the book, the dust floated away in cloud destined to drift and settle on something else. I felt the soft leather cover of the book, it sent chills down my back. I carefully opened the book, hoping nothing would fall out. Nothing did. I opened the first page it was an article from the Nashviller. It was only a small article but it was my first one ever.

_A little girl named Hannah Montana, won the city wide talent contest today. Her voice was amazing for just being 7 years old. To be honest, in my opinion, she blew all the other contestants away; she sang her heart out and danced along as a family friend played a melody on the guitar, that presumably she made up. We got to ask her a few questions before she had to pile in the family van with her parents and older brother. _

_Did you think you were going to win? You could see the wheels turning, as she thought about her answer _

_HM: Well, yes I love singing, singing is what I do, it makes me happy inside. _

_Do you wanna be a singer when you grow up? This time her answer was immediate._

_HM: I already am a singer, I sing all the time silly. She said with a smile on her face. _

_HM: I got to go my mom is calling me, she said before running off to the waiting van. _

I laughed at my answers, I remember that day as if it was yesterday, as soon as I got in the car Jackson thumped me on the head, saying something about how he couldn't be late to the 'little Mr. rodeo Rodeo'. Of course mom and dad congratulated me like any good parent. I flipped the page, this one was the record contract, me and dad signed when I was in 6th grade. It was a 5 record deal, with 50 of the sales profits going to me, and the initially money I got from it was five million, dad had put a contingency the for every week a single was #1 on the charts I would get an additional million, and if the album went platinum I would get an extra five million on top of that. At the time none of that mattered to me, all I cared about was getting people to listen to what I sung.

I flipped through a lot of the 'Tiger Beat', 'BOP' and 'Popstar' interviews and articles, there was a specific one I was looking for now. There it was, it had a picture of 18 year old me and the title was "Who Is Hannah Montana? And where does she live?"

_**Who Is Hannah Montana? And where does she live?**_

_Hannah Montana, America's song bird, America's sweetheart. She's been around for a while now. Girls like her because she's modest down to earth, and her lyrics bring a heart touching something-somethin to you and boys like her because she's hot. But something that's eating away at this journalist is that she has NEVER been photographed by the paparazzi, doing normal things. I know what a few of you are going to say "well there was Jacksannah", yes there was Jacksannah but as she had stated in later articles they did it on purpose so he could get a little spot light. _

_But truly has anyone seen her out shopping, or getting a Starbucks coffee? Does she pay people to do that, and she does have enough money to pay for. And where does she live? She says she lives in Malibu, but no one has ever seen her around here. _

_I called her to do a phone interview with me and she agreed. _

_So Hannah what do you do during the day?_

_HM: well, I work with my tutors on school work, I write songs, I have out with friends, I work._

_Do you ever go to Sarbucks?_

_HM: OMG I LOVE Starbucks, I always get the mocha Frappachino _

_Then why hasn't anyone ever seen you at star bucks?_

_HM: what?_

_I asked you why no one has ever seen you at Starbucks?_

_HM: I. uh, send my assistant to go out and get it._

_Do you go shopping?_

_HM: I love to go shopping my friend and I just went the….. I mean my assistant goes and gets our clothes to. _

_What kind of car do you drive?_

_HM: a black Yaris. Why are you asking me this?_

_Oh no reason, Ok I want to know why you sing lyrics about being normal and doing, Normal things when you never do?_

_HM:……………._

_She hung up on me. I called her back and her rep said that she had a family emergency, but I highly doubt that. _

_If you recall about 3 years ago there was a school girl in Malibu who clamed to be Hannah Montana, but later took it back. What if, What if she really was Hannah, What if Hannah goes to school during the day like other teenagers her age, what if she is a hiding a secret from the world, a secret that could either make or break her career?_

_The truth never stays hidden long,_

_Jane _

I remember that article it changed my career, people looked at me, Miley different, because they remembered me from that TV report, people began to treat me a little different, they looked at me, and people started asking me if I was Hannah, I always tried to laugh it off graciously, they said if I flopped a blond wig on, and sang I could be her, because I already had the Yaris, secrets can't last forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I just want to thank **xorss** for the review, their kind review convinced me to continue this story for another couple of chapters hope you enjoii.

I flipped back a couple of pages to one of those teeny bopper magazine articles. I laughed just looking at all the weird poses I took; I stuck my tongue out at the camera, made a peace sign, crossed my eyes, oh and of course I couldn't forget the first albums cover, I repeated that pose over and over, the one where I put my finger to my lips, almost as if to 'shhh' some one who was being to loud, and look in one direction. I laughed at the picture from Seventeen with Jake Ryan and me hugging each other, the caption underneath said "Voted Cutest Couple 2007". Jake was also voted "Prettiest Smile" and he got "Best TV Drama". Me on the other hand was voted "Best Voice" and "Prettiest Eyes".

The thing was that Seventeen didn't know half the story between Jake Ryan and me. See Jake and I were a happy couple when we were alone or just around close friends, but when we went out together, where normal people hung out, like the movies, people mobbed us, and frankly that's what I was avoiding with the whole double life thing but Jake, Jake just sopped it up, he loved the attention, he loved people waiting on him hand and foot, doing whatever he wanted people to do for them. It just drove me up the wall.

Jake and I were a happy for two years, four months and five days, Yes I know it down to the days, but it was my first true love where I loved him as much as he loved me, but on the day of March 15th, 2009, it just all fell apart. I remember everything I had done that day.

I got ready to meet Jake he had been away for five months shooting a film in New York and Canada, I sprayed a little Tommy Girl on my neck, I had a super cute outfit on, Lilly helped me pick it out, she said (remember these are her words not mine) "you look totally rad, Miley". I waited in the limo, we had agreed that we were going to ride together after the flight. I was brimming with excitement, I couldn't wait to see that smiling face, that dirty blonde hair, that swagger he had, and most importantly the shine in his eyes when he saw me, that shine now matter what mood we had or if we just had an argument was always there, it meant he loved me.

The limo door opened, my heart skipped a beat, I blinked and then he was in the car. I could smell him; that sweet scent of his signature cologne that he always wore, but something was wrong, that shine in his eyes was dull, that brilliant 1,000,000 watt smile he only reserved for me wasn't there, he looked the same, he had the same swagger, he had the same clothes, but…but where was the Jake I knew? I think he knew that I knew that something had happened while he was gone, something major. He wouldn't look me in the eyes, he adverted his gaze, he looked everywhere in the limo except for me. He spoke just as I opened my mouth. "Miley, I have done something horrible" he said staring in my direction, but not at me. "I don't know how it happened" his eyes brimmed with tears, he looked in my eyes this time, I scooched over and grabbed his hand, holding it in my hand as my dad had all those years ago. I gave him a minute before I spoke.

"Jake what happened?" I asked, not really wanting to hear what he had to say. He looked at the floor, his tears were flowing freely now. "Jake, please tell me what happened, you know you can trust me with anything"

"Miley" he whispered "Miley, I went out with someone else while I was filming" he kept just staring at his feet, not daring to look me in the eye. If he had he would have seen that I wasn't angry with him.

"Did you go out with her to promote the film?" I asked. Hoping that that was what happened and nothing more, I prayed to god that was all that happened, but somehow I knew it was so much more.

"No, I didn't." he said gulping and taking deep breaths, "We didn't just go out, we did a lot more than that. We kissed, and we…"

"Please don't finish that sentence, Jake, please tell me Ashton is going to pop out of the seat or something." I was crying now, I snatched my hand away from his, and scooted away from him, "Jake please tell me this is for an upcoming script you got and these are just lines, Jake please just tell me" I felt that lump in my throat, the one that comes when your trying not to cry, but you know holding it back is just going to make it worse.

"We slept together." His words were as repulsive as when Uncle Earl hadn't showered in a week, it seemed like his words raced at me and stabbed me right in my chest, right in my heart. The lump in my throat, and the flood of tears came to me, the tear stains on my shirt we getting bigger and bigger as each moment past.

I opened my mouth to say something but all that came out was a wail, my body was racked with sobs, the only time I had sobbed that hard was when mom had died, and it felt like it was happening all over again. He reached for my hand, but I scooted as far as I could away from him, I looked at him, his gorgeous hair, his gorgeous eyes and his gorgeous smile but nothing was gorgeous about him now.

I took a deep breath before talking "Jake, how could you, how could you betray me like that? What happened to 'Miley I'll never hurt you'." I could feel that lump in my throat again. "Jake I put my heart on my sleeve for you, I trusted you," I gulped trying to hold back the flood of tear long enough to say what I needed to say "I loved you."

I think it was safe to say that that relationship was over. I flipped the pages again hoping to find the one that held the page with that song on it. When I was younger I would've said that that song was the only good thing that came from my relationship with Jake, but to be honest, Jake gave me a lot of good things in life, like cherishing just being Miley and enjoiing simple things like going to the movies with out getting mobbed.

Ahh here it is

Untitled

Hey there boy

You and me loved each other

We loved each other a lot

But I just want you to lie to me now

And say it isn't true

What their sayin' bout you

I want you to lie to me

I want you to tell me that

you didn't spend that time with that girl

because you did now it hurts inside

it hurts like its never hurt before

you took my heart and put it through a paper shredder

I told you never, never again will I trust you

Never, never again will we hold each other dear

Never, never again, will I tell you my secrets

Never, never again will we be together

I want you to lie to me

And say it isn't true

what their saying bout you

but somehow I knew

I knew

The minute I saw you

That this would happen

That you'd break my heart and never put it back together again

I trusted you with all my heart and you tossed it aside like a piece of trash

Your decision was trash

Cause now I realize

My heart will mend on it's own

It will mend a lot better with out you

You took my heart and put it through a paper shredder

I told you never, never again will I trust you

Never, never again will we hold each other dear

Never, never again, will I tell you my secrets

Never, never again will we be together

When dad first read the song, he asked me if that's something I really wanted to put on the album. I told him I was growing up and so does my music. I sang the song to him and he said it flowed a lot better when I sang than when you just read it on paper, and I agreed.

I remember when the album came out, 'Untitled' was the one that everyone listened to, and I think it was because everyone has had their hearts ripped out at least once in their life.

**A/N:** I liked writing this chapter a lot, I felt that lump in my throat as if I had actually been through the break up at the same time, I hope it had the same effect on you. That song I just wrote for the story, its not very good but ya know. Please Review


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